This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
