Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
