He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
