Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
