he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He passed out mid-signature
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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