Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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