I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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