Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
we're making bets on your personal life
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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