I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
3pm strippers are depressing
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
