Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I am available for nakedness
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
