Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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