What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
