Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
