I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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