is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
