he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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