great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
