I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
