All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
