Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
