I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
