I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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