I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Randomize
