...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize