i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
