what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
In other news, I just burned my penis
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My vagina is officially offended.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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