I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
