I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
