Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
