I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
