my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
there is glitter all over my balls
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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