he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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