Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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