I swear she didn't look like that last week.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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