I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
