he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
