I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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