he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
