Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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