drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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