well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
