in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
