Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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