The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
