And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
