so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Enjoy the penises
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
