I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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