Someone shit on the floor
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
