I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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