That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
